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Author Topic: Captain Beefhearts Ten Commandments For Guitarists
jeremy

Posts: 48
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Post Captain Beefhearts Ten Commandments For Guitarists
on: December 18, 2012, 10:13
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1. LISTEN TO THE BIRDS That's where all the music comes from. Birds know everything about how it should sound and where that sound should come from. And watch hummingbirds. They fly really fast, but a lot of times they aren't going anywhere.

2. YOUR GUITAR IS NOT REALLY A GUITAR Your guitar is a divining rod. Use it to find spirits in the other world and bring them over. A guitar is also a fishing rod. If you're good, you'll land a big one.

3. PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A BUSH Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the bush doesn't shake, eat another piece of bread.

4. WALK WITH THE DEVIL Old delta blues players referred to amplifiers as the "devil box." And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity employer in terms of who you're bringing over from the other side. Electricity attracts demons and devils. Other instruments attract other spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy. But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub.

5. IF YOU'RE GUILTY OF THINKING, YOU'RE OUT If your brain is part of the process, you're missing it. You should play like a drowning man, struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have something that is fur bearing.

6. NEVER POINT YOUR GUITAR AT ANYONE Your instrument has more power than lightning. Just hit a big chord, then run outside to hear it. But make sure you are not standing in an open field.

7. ALWAYS CARRY YOUR CHURCH KEY You must carry your key and use it when called upon. That's your part of the bargain. Like One String Sam. He was a Detroit street musician in the fifties who played a homemade instrument. His song "I Need A Hundred Dollars" is warm pie. Another church key holder is Hubert Sumlin, Howlin' Wolf's guitar player. He just stands there like the Statue of Liberty making you want to look up her dress to see how he's doing it.

8. DON'T WIPE THE SWEAT OFF YOUR INSTRUMENT You need that stink on there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music.

9. KEEP YOUR GUITAR IN A DARK PLACE When you're not playing your guitar, cover it and keep it in a dark place. If you don't play your guitar for more than a day, be sure to put a saucer of water in with it.

10. YOU GOTTA HAVE A HOOD FOR YOUR ENGINE Wear a hat when you play and keep that hat on. A hat is a pressure cooker. If you have a roof on your house the hot air can't escape. Even a lima bean has to have a wet paper towel around it to make it grow.

Digital-
Larry

Posts: 192
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Post Re: Captain Beefhearts Ten Commandments For Guitarists
on: December 18, 2012, 13:35
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For example,

mwseniff

Posts: 149
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Post Re: Captain Beefhearts Ten Commandments For Guitarists
on: December 18, 2012, 19:06
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10. YOU GOTTA HAVE A HOOD FOR YOUR ENGINE Wear a hat when you play and keep that hat on. A hat is a pressure cooker. If you have a roof on your house the hot air can't escape. Even a lima bean has to have a wet paper towel around it to make it grow.

I find having shoulder length hair works just fine for this no hat required for me at least.

I saw the Captain on the Shiny Beast tour in 1978 at The Bayou a small club in Georgetown (Wash DC). He came out onto the stage wearing a gorgeous set of black silk pajamas. He said "Don't think I'm not going to work hard for you just because I am wearing pajamas". It was one of my all time favorite shows. During the set break Bruce Fowler came up and sat down at our table had a of drink and he told us some stories, very sweet guy and a helluva trombonist. He used an octave divider on the trombone which was amazing live. The Captain read some poems and showed some drawings, very cool. He addressed a young lady calling out requests by saying "What do you think I am, a goddamned juke box?" I have used that line myself when the drunks yell for "Freebird" ( tho' I have upon occasion done the lyrics fast as a monotone acappella which makes it sound very lame). Too bad the Captain didn't keep doing music but his art was amazing as well. His death made me feel like the Earth got smaller and sadder.

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