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Lithuanian Mutants

Sadly, the Mutant Beauty Pageant ended weeks ago. But I suspect you’ll enjoy the pics I received from Lithuanian reader Dmitrij Timofejev. Dmitrij, what does that sideways humbucker sound like? BTW, the is the less radical of Dmitrij’s two guitars.

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Bait for Beatle Bots!

Authentic and un-retouched historic photo.

Okay, I’ve received this link in the last 24 hours from pretty much everyone I know who’s every held a guitar pick.

Guess Who guitarist Randy Bachman claims to have cracked the half-century mystery of the polychord that jump-starts the Beatles’ “Hard Day’s Night.” And I believe he’s nailed it. Enjoy, Beatle bee-yotches!

My favorite Beatle chord is the psychedelic feedback fest that launches “It’s All Too Much.” My fave solo is the screamer on “Taxman,” played by . . .  Paul.

Hey, just for fun: Here, hastily scrawled on a bar napkin, is a one-guitar, no-bass approximation of the “Hard Day’s Night” chord that manages to cram in most of the pitches. No one in the group actually plays it, but it sounds pretty cool when you whack it hard. If your fans scream loudly enough, they’ll never notice the difference! Check it out:

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Fun with Onboard Boosters!

Put more ELECTRIC in your guitar!

Lately I’ve been obsessed with mounting boosters inside my electric guitars.

Why bother? Especially when you can just get a clean-boost stompbox and use it on all your guitars? Because:

    a) certain guitars just seem to sound best with a particular boost circuit;
    b) you can “play” the booster by riding the gain setting, and;
    c) why leave well enough alone when there’s an exciting opportunity to screw things up?

Two examples: a squeaky-clean boost inside a lipstick tube Strat (which I previously wrote about here), and a dirty little germanium overdrive inside an old Les Paul (a guitar I previously wrote about here).

Listen to the results!

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Cheap Guitar Makeover!

A while back a couple of readers brought up Jimmy Page’s Les Paul wiring scheme, which made me want to set up a dual-humbucker guitar with lots of those tricky series, parallel, and split-coil tricks. Meanwhile, I wanted to do a sequel to my last cheap guitar makeover, but this time with a solidbody instead of a semi-acoustic. Also, I’d been meaning to try a pickup combo recommended by the mavens at Seymour Duncan: a pair of P-Rails combined with Triple Shot Mounting Rings.

So I slaughtered all three birds with a single stone: I picked up a late-’80s Aria Pro II for $200 and retrofitted it with that absurdly versatile pickup scheme. Have a listen!

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Three Useful, Easy & Cheap DIY Tools

My cat hates when I play distortion pedals. I don't think he especially appreciates my non-distorted playing either.

Reader Derick just posted a comment on the DIY Project #1 page about his experiences with using different diodes for the Bad-Ass Distortion Pedal project. He’s inspired me to share a few cool tools you can use to make your DIY work easier and more creative. If you’ve worked through some of projects, or think you might, you should think about adding some of these to your workbench.

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Lust for Lipstick Tubes

Nothing says “low budget cool” like a lipstick tube pickup.

Maybe it’s their humble but sweet sound. Maybe it’s the quirky housing. Or maybe just the fact that, for countless Baby Boomers, the lipstick tube pickups of the ’60s provided the formative electric guitar experience.

Whatever the reasons, it’s been a loooooong time since lipstick tube pickups were only appreciated by budget-bound beginners. Just consider the stupendous list of celebrity users.

Anyone who’s ever played a lipstick tube knows they have a unique sound. Several sounds, actually. Despite the extreme simplicity of the design — no pole pieces, no bobbin, just a wire wrap around a bar magnet, stuffed into a metal tube — the old ones really do sound different than most of the modern, Asian-made ones, at least to my ears. The old ones seem more open and sparkly, while the new ones sound thicker and more midrangy, with less of that defining “hollow” quality. Popping replacement lipstick tubes into a new lipstick-tube guitar is usually a significant sonic upgrade.

Check out this revealing lipstick tube demo:

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Hubert Sumlin, 1931-2011

Longtime Howlin’ Wolf sideman Hubert Sumlin died this week at age 80. He played with Wolf on and off from 1953 until the singer’s death in 1976. (The YouTube clip features the two performing one of their greatest tunes live in Europe in 1964, accompanied by pianist Sunnyland Slim, drummer Clifton James, and the great songwriter and bassist Willie Dixon.)

I never met Sumlin, though everyone I know who did described him as a mellow, sweet guy. But “mellow” and “sweet” are the last words you’d use to describe his frantic, abrasive sound. I can’t think of another player who better encapsulates a) what I love about great mid-20th-century blues, and b) what I hate about much blues from subsequent generations. 

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We Have a Mutant Winner!

Not a turkey: Dave Wetherby's eye-catching Colorcaster

The contestants were formidable. The competition was fierce. But by the time yesterday’s deadline arrived, one mutant stood triumphant — so triumphant that we are spared the interminable silliness responsibility of a run-off round.

And the winner is Dave Wetherby’s kaleidoscopic Colorcaster. Congrats to Dave, who will receive as a prize a super-freq Uglyface, a fuzz pedal that only a mutant could love. Congrats, Dave! :beer:

Here again are Dave’s original comments from the posting thread

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Mutant Beauty Pageant:
Choose the “Winner!”

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving!

At the moment, I’m particularly thankful that, despite being a jaded old musician, I can still encounter instruments that, um, take my breath away. And if you can view all the Mutant Beauty Pageant contestants without spewing your beverage all over your computer, you’re made of stern stuff indeed.

Exaggeration? You be the judge. Literally!

As specified in the “rules,” the submission deadline has arrived. Now it’s time to choose the most beautiful mutant. Just select your three favorites from the photo gallery below.

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Mutant Beauty Pageant Update!

The end is nigh! But maybe not as nigh as originally planned…

Thanksgiving Day (that’s Nov. 24th to you non-U.S. residents) was the original deadline, but I’m going to extend it through the holiday weekend, till midnight, PST, on the 27th) for one simple reason: We want to HEAR some of these mutants!

C’mon — I know many of you are avid home recordists. Let’s have some audio to accompany the remarkable visuals! It doesn’t have to be a fancy production — just a little bit recorded into a phone will convey the true horror of these monstrosities express the unique musical qualities of each instrument.

Post your pics (and, I hope, audio) to the comments thread here. Meanwhile, I’ll be updating the astonishing photo gallery here.